Love and Carbohydrates
by Spirit Bagle of Death
Summary: The mutantverse, 1970. Jean senses that Charles is stressed, and so tries to make him his favorite food, but gets in a little over her head. Fortunately she's psychically extracted a certain top-secret phone number. Implied slash. So cute you'll vomit.


**April 19th, 1970-8:43pm **

"LeMaga scrap corporation, how may I direct your call?"

"Hi Mr. Toad, I know you're supposed to tell me you aren't the bad guys, but I really need to talk to Mr. Magnet...er, Mag-net-o now. Please."

"Who is this? How did you get this number?"

"I sawwww it. Stop yelling."

"Toad? Who is that on the line?"

"Sir, it appears we've had a breach. Some mutant undoubtedly masquerading as a little girl-"

"Magneto! Mr Mag..neto make Toad stop talking for a sec!"

"Jean? Is that you?"

"You remembered!"

"Of course I remembered-Toad, it's fine. One of Charles's students."

"_You gave out your direct line to the entire school?_"

"I did not, I assure you. But Jean here is a very gifted youngster."

"I saw it, I itooold/i you. The Professor thinks about these numbers all the time."

"I'll just bet he does. Hang up, Toad."

"…"

"Toad."

"Roger that, Sir."

"Now, Jean, why don't you tell me what's happened. Is something wrong over there? Is Charles alright? What about the others?"

"Heeee. You call him Charles all funny."

"...I'll take your amusement as a sign that everything's okay then, yes?"

"Oh we're all fine, all fine but...b-but..."

"Out with it, come on. And isn't it a little late for you to be wandering around the grounds, making unauthorized phone calls to America's Most Wanted?"

"I'm this many now, I'll have you know! Er...six, I mean. I'm a whole six, and I called because I need to know about pancakes."

"...Pancakes."

"Yeah. They're the Professor's favorite, but you know that. And…and he's writing a big book he says, and it's gonna be a real book, Mr. Magnet, with small print and no pictures and he's all worried about it and...well, don't you think that pancakes would help?"

"Pancakes would be a very good start, Jean dear, but really he's beyond help in that state. Now what is so pressing, in the pancake category, that you took this enormous strategic risk and found the step stool?"

"Well duuhhh. He looovess youuu! Which probably means you make him pancakes all the time! You're prolly like a pancake GENIUS! Why are grown-ups so dumb?"

"...heh. You know, I couldn't tell you. I certainly don't know many grown-ups who were smart or brave enough at your age to tackle a pancake operation by themselves."

"Oh Magnet, I don't think I can do it! I c-can't read all the words on the box."

"Sh. Of course you can. Do you have the skillet?"

"Uh-huh. AND I turned the dial!"

"Only half way, I hope."

"Er, no."

"Lower it a bit then, otherwise they'll be ash cakes."

"Kay."

"Did you mix the ingredients in a big bowl?"

"W-well, some of them...but I don't know how many eggs to put into the powdery stuff, and the measuring cup for the water is too far up high."

"Then like all great Pancake Generals, you'll have to improvise. First of all it's one egg, I'd bet my life on that, so go on, and don't let any shells get in."

"...allll...right. No shells!"

"Fantastic. Now can you reach the spigot of the sink?"

"Yu-huh."

"Well, if you're using Bisquick-"

"Yeah! I AM! How did you knowww? Are...are you like me, Mr. Magnet? Can you read brains too?"

"Hah! No, and thank the lord for that. But yeah, Bisquick calls for one cup of water per recipe, and you may be a whole six, but you've still got half-sized hands. So about...three hand-cuppings should do you."

"So I should scoop the water in? With my hands? Isn't that gross?"

"Jean, all is fair in love and carbohydrates. Do as I say, I promise he won't mind."

"You're real strange. And you use big words."

"If that were all that made me strange, dear, I'd be making all of YOU breakfast for dinner. Now you know to melt the butter in the pan?"

"Mm-hmmmm. I think I can do it from here! I knocked down the bucket full of spoons and stuff with my yo yo before and stole a spatula while Mr. Cassidy wasn't looking."

"Perfect. Remind Charles to send you to me when you graduate, yes?"

"You're silly, Mr. Magnet."

"Maybe not so silly as you think. Oh and Jean?"

"Yah-huh?"

"Crush up some of his yogurt pretzels and mix them with the batter."

"Ewwww. Whyyyy?"

"Because, my dear, I am a pancake genius."


End file.
